The Striving Leaves Me Empty
It always happens this way. I find myself, at the end of myself, and realize…I ran out. How long was I running? When did I stop leaning into Jesus? What motivated me to do it in my own strength? What fear overtook me and forced me into this corner of striving? What hurt or trauma enticed me to control? Have you ever found yourself in this place? Have you found yourself in that moment where you recognize that you’re not operating in His strength anymore? Not operating in His grace, or freedom, or rest, or trust? You realize that you’re completely in your flesh, and as you take a moment, you get stuck trying to remember where you crossed the line. Let’s troubleshoot. How do we backtrack and resolve what’s happening? But, even better, how do we manage or monitor the engagement of our hearts and our whole selves to ensure that we aren’t leaving our Friend behind? If we’re leaving Him behind, we’re leaving ourselves behind. It’s like this ghostly picture of us is running ahead, and the real us is at rest in Jesus 10 feet back. The version of us that we thought was ok and moving…
